VOICETEST (get it because shE'S THE VOICE I'M FUNNY)

[methanosarcina]

[ Wherever you were, you were probably doing something fun and exciting that wasn't being draped on by a strangely tall, incredibly pale, incredibly long haired woman. But now, you are. Isn't it funny how that works.


...Is her hair moving? ]


Oh dear! Oh my! Oh wow! What are you, what are you? Could you be...a human? Or something even more ♥terrifying♥?

Comments

[stepfordsmiler]

... ... ... ... ...

My, my. That's certainly a way to say hello, isn't it? You don't seem like a human yourself, either.

[methanosarcina]

Well! We considered saying I am! But then, that would be lying. And lying is 'wrong', now isn't it.

[stepfordsmiler]

When it comes to someone like you, you define what's right and wrong, don't you? But that's right; here in human society, lying is "wrong".

[methanosarcina]

Defining what's right and wrong! Do you know what those words mean? Hm. No...well, okay. We can say we tried, can't we? We can!

[ nodding sagely ]

I tried, but I don't even know what right or wrong is. Those are very human concepts!

[stepfordsmiler]

They certainly are, although even humans do not always know what is right or wrong. But, it can be certain that they try.

I might be overstepping my boundaries by asking this, but while you are here, would you abide by what is right and wrong of humans? It's only polite to do so when in someone else's home.

[methanosarcina]

[ LAUGHS AND LAUGHS AND LAUGHS AND LAUGHS AND LAUGHS AND LAUGHS AND LAUGHS AND LAUGHS AND LAUGHS AND LAUGHS AND LAUGHS AND LAUGHS AND LAUGHS AND LAUGHS AND LAUGHS AND LAUGHS AND LAUGHS AND LAUGHS AND LAUGHS AND LAUGHS AND LAUGHS AND LAUGHS AND LAUGHS AND LAUGHS AND LAUGHS AND LAUGHS AND LAUGHS AND LAUGHS AND LAUGHS AND LAUGHS AND LAUGHS AND LAUGHS AND LAUGHS AND LAUGHS AND LAUGHS AND LAUGHS AND LAUGHS AND LAUGHS AND LAUGHS AND LAUGHS AND LAUGHS AND LAUGHS AND LAUGHS AND LAUGHS AND LAUGHS AND LAUGHS AND LAUGHS AND LAUGHS AND ]

Someone else's home! Did you hear that? Oh dear, you did, didn't you? Can you believe it? Neither can I! The almost-human thinks this is someone else's home! It is to laugh!

[stepfordsmiler]

[ fuck ]


. . . . my. Have I gotten it wrong? I'm terribly sorry.

[methanosarcina]

เ ค๓ א๏ยг ђ๏๓є.

You're home now!

[stepfordsmiler]

By "home", you could possibly mean the earth? I didn't know our Earth was such a cute girl! I'm terribly sorry about that, madam!

[methanosarcina]

Hm. Cute? Oh, is this the human thing where you assign human traits to things that aren't human? It is, isn't it? Well, we think you're 'cute' too.

[modecrash]

Well, inhuman beings can be cute too. Like puppies and kittens and turtles, just to name a few examples. But I'm happy to be called that!

I hope you'll forgive me for the previous blunder. To properly introduce myself, I am Chiffon Fairchild, a resident of you. Thank you for all you've done, madam.

[methanosarcina]

I wonder, I wonder! Do puppies and kittens and turtles think you're cute, after all you've done to them? Well, I suppose if you think we're cute, it's always possible. Isn't it? We've killed plenty of humans.

Oh, well, but, it's mostly an accident when we do. Usually. Sometimes you're more annoying than 'cute'.

[stepfordsmiler]

Hm, well, I wouldn't know. I've never been a puppy or a kitten or a turtle, but I'm sure it's a possibility.

In any case, humanity tends to overstep its bounds without realizing, so that's understandable. Even so, we're all doing our best.

[methanosarcina]

It really seems you haven't even tried.

[stepfordsmiler]

We're doing our best, I assure you. Though I will admit readily that humans are not very good at it, and certainly not self-aware enough, it's because we've barely gotten a grasp on things as it is. Humanity is still at the larval stage, after all.

[methanosarcina]

Still, it wouldn't hurt to think about things other than yourselves every once in awhile. You're a lot like a...'sickness'? Yes. That.

[stepfordsmiler]

You're absolutely right about that.

[methanosarcina]

So I can't be blamed if I ...oh, what's the word? 'Extinction event'? No, that's what they call it when we do it. So what? This is hard. Such arbitrary names for everything...humans really are ridiculous. It was medicine, right? No! Wait, I know...!

'Cure' myself.

[stepfordsmiler]

.... that's right, no one would blame you. In fact, it would be unfair to ask you to do otherwise.

Even so, I ask you to give us a little more time.

[methanosarcina]

Well, that's why I'm here. After all, humans are cute. We'd hate to see them go.

[stepfordsmiler]

... Thank you. Although I'm sure a single person's gratitude is hardly a thing to you, still, I must thank you.

[methanosarcina]

It doesn't mean anything at all, but okay.